Losing You
by ggfan78
Summary: I was a little mad that Mellie revoked Liv's visiting privileges so this is how I made myself feel better ) Hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

"Ms Pope," Tom said softly placing a hand on her shoulder to wake her. Olivia looked up disoriented, for a moment forgetting where she was. Hoping that her worst fears lived only in her dreams, but as her eyes focused and saw that she was in a private ward of the John Madison hospital, she knew she wasn't. When her eyes fell on their intertwined fingers as he lay there lifeless, she knew she was living in a nightmare, her personal nightmare.

"Ms Pope, the first lady is en route to the hospital." Understanding what he meant she nodded standing to her feet. Mellie had revoked her privileges, and she was not allowed to visit Fitz. If it wasn't for Tom, she would have only seen him once in the last three weeks. Three weeks! It was hard to believe that it had been three weeks since the attempted assassination of Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. Her fiery, full of life and passion Fitzgerald now lay there without a sign of waking up. Every day he didn't open his eyes, was another day where a part of her soul died.

In the beginning Tom could only sneak her in during the evenings after the First Lady had retired to the residence. She spent most of her days in his hospital room like a devastated first wife pulling for her husband. As the press coversage died down, so did her visits. These days, it was easier for Liv to just happen to be in the hospital, and for Tom to just happen to look away as she snuck into Fitz's room to see him, to squeeze his hand, to kiss his lips, to hug him as tightly as she could willing him to open his eyes.

There had been so much anger and resentment in their last meetings, he had finally let her go. She made him so mad by not answering his calls that he was beyond reasonable. She would take his screaming at her at her over him laying there lifeless.

Olivia kissed his lips and squeezed his hand before reluctantly leaving him. Tom had offered to stay with the president full time. If he were honest a big part of it was so Olivia would have the opportunity to be with Fitz. Hal, who had been the one to alert the First Lady of the affair between Fitz and Olivia would never go against the wishes of the First Lady.

Without fail Olivia was in the hospital every day. Whenever she wasn't at the White House, or checking in at Pope and Associates Headquarters, she was there. Every night she slept in his hospital room, at first in the uncomfortable chair holding his hand, till one night she just couldn't stand it anymore and climbed into his hospital bed wrapping her arms around him, begging for his body to awaken as it touched hers, but still he remained unmoving. She refused to give up on him.

One of the nurses, Margaret who was in her sixties had walked in on Olivia one night as she massaged his legs, bent them, stretched them so that he wouldn't lose mobility in them. Margaret saw the bowl filled with shaving cream suds on the table and wordlessly checked on his vitals allowing Olivia to continue as though she didn't see anything. It was hard to miss that she loved him. Everything she did, she did for him. As Margaret was about to leave the room she stopped and placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Olivia looked up and the compassion in Margaret's eyes made her own eyes well up in tears. She felt so alone. Right or wrong, there was no question that her whole world revolved around the man who lay on the bed unaware. Every night Olivia was there.

Olivia had enough time to go home, shower and change before reporting to the White House for her temporary stint as Communications Director. Olivia knew she stayed on to help out because being at the white house made her feel closer to him. As time passed, she realized she stayed for Cyrus who was struggling to exist in the White House as Sally Langston stood in the place of his President's place. If there was any doubt in anyone's mind whether Cyrus Beene loved Fitz, his loyalty to him quashed that. Olivia knew that the longer Fitz stayed unconscious Cyrus the more Cyrus began to unravel.

"I'm making lists, of Fitz's favourite songs, bands he loves, poems he's quoted, bible verses that seem to fit his personality, hymns he likes. Sally has me planning his funeral. Mellie's let me visit him exactly once, and she revoked my privileges. I may not even get to say goodbye."

"I'm only going to say this once, and I better not ever have to say it again. Don't you ever again suggest to me the Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third is going to die. That is unacceptable coming from you. He calls you the love of his life, don't you dare give up on him."

When Cyrus arrived at the White House he saw that Olivia was already in her office which at present was where he spent most of his time since Sally moved him out of his office so that her chief of staff could be closer at hand.

"Do you sleep? Ever?" he asked as the exhaustion was starting to show in her face. Though she was still immaculately seemingly put together, her eyes to those privy to her soul saw right through her. At present, Cyrus was the only person she allowed in.

"I can't sleep. I dream that it's all a dream, and I wake up and realize the nightmare is my reality."

"Liv, you can't keep running on empty."

"I don't know how else to be Cy. Without him it's like I have to remind myself to keep breathing in and out. So put one foot in front of the other. Blink every so often. I don't know how to do whatever this is without him." She confessed unable to look up at him. Cyrus closed the blinds and walked over to her desk and placed a hand on her shoulder as she wept.


	2. Chapter 2

After giving the Vice President the completed file for Fitz's funeral Olivia went straight to the bathroom and threw up. When she walked out of the bathroom Cyrus was waiting for her handing her his hanker chief. Wordlessly she took it gratefully as they headed back to her office. Olivia sat down on the couch in her office while Cyrus leaned against her desk facing her,

"Liv, I just got the call." Olivia's heart stopped fearing for the words to follow.

"He's awake." Releasing the breath she was holding she jumped to her feet ready to go, only to sit back down. She wasn't allowed to see him.

"Mellie was there when he woke up?"

"Yes, dutifully holding his hand when his eyes fluttered open." Cyrus said dryly knowing that it was by luck that Mellie was there and that she had only been there for the media coverage.

"And he's okay?" Olivia prompted.

"From what they tell me yes. Obviously he still needs to go through tests but for now all is looking bright."

"Good, I'm glad. You should go. I'm sure he's longing to see you." She said assuring him to go ahead without her.

"It's wrong Liv. You're the one that's been holding that mans hand since he slipped into a coma, not her."

"It doesn't matter Cy. What matters is that he's awake. He needs you. If I can't be there I would feel better if you were there."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Go! I might go home. Take a nap! Keep me posted." Cyrus pushed himself off her desk and dropped a kiss on her head before heading out. Olivia let out a huge sigh, grateful that he was awake. Exhausted she grabbed her bag and headed home. She wasn't quite sure how she got home, but she managed to get there. Too tired to do anything but crawl into her bed fully clothed she passed out.

At around midnight she woke up and saw that there was a message from Tom, the same one what had been receiving for weeks. One that still brought a giggle out of her.

"The Dragon has flown the coop."

Olivia took a shower, changed and headed back to the hospital. She was uncertain of what would be awaiting her, but all she cared about was that he was awake. She handed Tom a large Mocha as she did every night when she came to visit.

"Thank you Ms Pope,"

"I keep telling you, it's Olivia, Liv, whatever. I think we're a little past Ms Pope." Tom smiled with a nod knowing regardless what she said he would still call her Ms Pope.

"Tom, thank you." She said sincerely, he restored her sanity by allowing her to be there with Fitz.

"Of course," He replied opening the door for her. She stood quietly by the door, his eyes were closed and she didn't want to wake him if he was sleeping.

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you at least going to say hello?"

"You're awake." She said happily making her way towards his bed.

"Looks that way." Olivia slowed her walk at the tone of his voice. As she came closer she could see that be was fully guarded. He was angry at her. It surprised her for a moment and remembered what their last moments had been like. The last time he had seen her be had let her go because she had been so angry at him for what happened in the Forest that she couldn't look at him. Cyrus had also told her about the surveillance detail he had on her and the pictures they had produced of her and Edison.

"I'm glad."

"Why, why would you care?" He said bitterly. Olivia felt like he had slapped her. After everything they had been through he had never been so cold. That afternoon in Cyrus' office was close, when they were talking about Jenny Nidestrome but as she stood by the foot of his bed, she couldn't quite find that man she loved underneath the anger and resentment that were aimed at her.

"I have never stopped caring Fitz. I've never stopped loving you." Fitz outwardly scoffed at her words in disbelief.

"Is that why you've only been here once the whole time I've been in a coma?"

"Oh wow." She said shocked. Mellie had her game on.

"Fitz I don't want to fight with you."

"That would be a first." He retorted.

"I guess I deserved that." She muttered beneath her breath. He was pushing her away and they both knew it. He could see the hurt she endured each time he threw a remark her way and to her credit she remained silent. She knew there was no point in verbal sparring, he was borderline mean and she didn't want there to be more regrets between them, harsh words spoken in hurt and perceived betrayal. There had been too much of that already.

"My being here obviously upsets you, and that's the last thing I want. I'm sorry Fitz, for everything. I know I didn't handle 'whatever' this is well. That it seemed as though I did nothing but push you away, that I didn't care as much, if only that were the truth. So I'm going to go."

"Well that is your MO."

"I suppose from where you're sitting it would seem that way." She said sadly.

"I'll have Cyrus find your replacement so you don't feel obligated to stay on as Communications Director."

"Sure, I serve at the pleasure of the President." She replied controlling her emotions. Margaret who was on her way into the room saw Olivia's face as she walked out. It was as though someone had died.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. Happy he's okay. Margaret, thank you for everything, I don't think I could have survived these last weeks without your support." Margaret took her in her arms and hugged her before she slipped out of the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

Liv did her utmost to turn her brain off. She had given her emotions a head start in shutting down while she and Fitz were in mid conversation the night before. She could have stopped him at any point, especially after he told her what Mellie said, but she refused to play the same game as Mellie. In truth she didn't want to play any games at all. She never had. He had every right to be angry at her for seemingly moving on from him regardless how unreasonable, seeing as he was the one that was unavailable. From his perspective he never stopped fighting for them while all she did was leave him when things got difficult. It made her incredibly sad that from his perception she didn't care enough. She didn't love him enough, if he only knew.

The following morning Cyrus had called her to meet him at the hospital. Fitz was wanting to strategize on getting back to his presidency. Vowing to stick around till she was no longer needed Olivia swallowed her pride, thickened her skin and prepared herself for the continued and somewhat misguided wrath of Fitzgerald Thomas.

Fitz was surprised to see Olivia the following morning as she walked in with Cyrus. For the first time he saw the exhaustion in her face. Sure she still presented immaculately as only Olivia Pope can when in the middle of turmoil but it was her eyes that gave her away to those who knew her. As soon as she felt his gaze on her Fitz felt her guard go up, which wasn't surprising considering the lashing she received from him only hours before.

For the next hour they discussed strategies, she and Cyrus filled him in on the manhunt for his shooter. Cyrus watched Olivia conduct the meeting with such precision and professionalism that he wondered if she was the same person who had only broken down the day before at the possibility that he would never wake again. It was as though he was sitting with two people who were strangers instead of two people who loved each other so desperately. When Mellie walked in Olivia stood to her feet.

"I think we've pretty much covered it. I'll head back to the White House and start assembling the staff. We will have you back in the White House in no time Mr President. Once you're back we can make the changes in staff you've requested unless you'd rather we make those changes now." She said without any inflection on her voice. Cyrus' head snapped up, he read between the lines and he looked at Fitz in disbelief.

"No Ms Pope, if you are happy with the current arrangement we can wait till I am back in the office." He replied evenly.

"Very we'll Mr President. Mrs Grant," Olivia said giving Mellie a polite nod before walking out of Fitz's hospital room without so much as a backward glance. Cyrus and Fitz did not miss the somewhat triumphant look on Mellie's face when she realised that Olivia had not countered what she had told Fitz.

Olivia had made it as far as the other side of the double doors to his private wing before she started gasping for air as though she had been holding her breath the whole time in their meeting, in some ways, she had been. As she struggled to catch her breath she didn't realise that Tom had approached her and led her to the nearest seat,

"Ms Pope I need you to calm down. Slow your breathing. Look at me, listen to my voice." Tom said soothingly as he rubbed her back. Olivia tried to concentrate on his face and his voice just as he told her to do and eventually she felt her body regain control and breathing slowed to its normal pace.

"Thank you Tom."

"Of course Ma'am" Tom watched as Olivia gathered what little strength she had to pull herself together and stood to her feet, shoulders squared and not a trace of what had just transpired moments before. He was in awe of her strength, but he knew she paid high in price for it.

Mellie fussed over Fitz as though she had been doting on him tirelessly for weeks, she milked it for all she could and Cyrus realised that Fitz had no idea that it was Olivia who barely left his side. Unable to stomach it any further Cyrus excused himself to head back to the White House to help Olivia with assembling the staff, what he wanted to do was check on Olivia and ask what the heck was going on. Sure he was opposed to their being together at the cost of his presidency, but if he had learned anything in the last three weeks it was that life was too short to be denied the person you love the most.

He found Olivia addressing the President's core staff in her office. They had all been segregated in that part of the White House since Sally Langston maneuvered her way into Fitz's presidency. She, Cy and Fitz came into the agreement that they would not brow beat Sally into giving up her temporary seat. That the nation will soon be asking the question of why she hasn't stepped down when they see that the president is fit, willing and able. The strategy was to get Fitz out there. She was planning a nation address so that the people could see that he was indeed alive and well. As it was the news of his waking had spread and the press were once again camped outside the hospital. Which of course meant Mellie was not leaving Fitz's side. For now that worked for Liv. When the rest of the staff had evacuated she was met with Cy's questioning look,

"What?" She asked,

"What was that at the hospital?"

"He's pissed at me Cy. For all the times I walked away from him, for moving on with Edison, for seemingly not being at the hospital more than once the whole time he's been unconscious."

"Are you freaking kidding me? She did not throw you under that bus."

"Oh but she did. You almost have to admire her drive." Olivia said dryly.

"And you didn't correct him?"

"What right do I have Cy? He's anger isn't misplaced. I am the one that has been running from the moment he got elected, who's pushed him away, who's schemed with his wife to ensure he doesn't step down when I knew all he wanted was out. The one who started seeing her ex because she just needed to close the door on the cycle we've gotten caught up in. I knew if there was anything that was going to anger him so much that he'd finally let go, it'd be Edison. Despite the fact that I knew I would never love anyone as much as I love him. I'm not proud of it but it seemed the only way Cy."

"You did it for him Liv,"

"He doesn't see it that way Cy. He never has." She said defeatedly.

"So you're just going to give up on him?"

"No, I'll always be there. I'll always be by his side. Even when he fires me, I'll still be there. I won't throw myself at him but I'm not going anywhere. Mellie can be as bitchy as she wants to be, and I won't fight her, but I won't be going anywhere."

"He can't fire you, you're my staff."

"With all due respect Cy, he is the president."

"And he wouldn't be that without you or I." Olivia smiled at him gratefully for the solidarity.

Olivia spent the rest of the day fielding calls, giving briefs and writing Fitz's address to the nation. Usually they would write it together, but Cyrus was stuck in meetings in the situation room, and she guessed that she was still banned from hospital grounds so she couldn't go without Cyrus. After the speech had been written she had sent one of her aids to deliver it to him with a pad of paper, highlighter and a few pens. She knew he'd want to make notes and changes. She had also sent him his iPad and his phone so that he would have means to contact his kids who had been shipped back to boarding school the week after he slipped into a coma. She had made arrangements for them to be picked up that afternoon so that they could be with him. He needed to see them and they needed to see him. If Mellie questioned it, she and Cyrus had already decided to say that the public needed to see them as a united front.

"Mr President Ava, Liv's aid is here to drop off a few things for you." Tom said poking his head in after knocking. Mellie who was on the chair beside him reading looked up suspiciously,

"Good afternoon Mr President. Ms Pope has finished the first draft of your speech and she has sent it over for you to proof." Ava said unpacking the satchel that Liv had put together for him.

"Thank you Ava."

"She has also sent over your iPad and your phone so that your children will be able to reach you. At present they are en route from boarding school and are scheduled to call you in half an hour when they land. Mr Beene is currently in a meeting in the situation room, but as soon as he is finished he and Ms Pope will be here to finish off your speech with you. It'll be after dinner so that you can be with your kids for a few hours." Olivia was thorough in her planning, and Fitz appreciated that. He knew that bringing the kids home would have been her idea and not Mellie's. He knew that much at the very least.

"Daddy!" Karen cried out rushing to his bedside and throwing her arms around him.

"Hey Princess, I'm okay." He assured her hugging her tightly. Right then in his arms she looked younger than twelve. He could see the toll the last few weeks had taken on both his kids.

"Hey Slugger." He said pulling his fifteen year old son into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay Dad." He said as his voice cracked with emotion as he hugged his Dad.

"I'm so glad you're both here."

"Liv made the arrangements with headmaster Charleston this morning. She got us off for the rest of the week and let him know that you will be letting him know when we'll be back." Olivia knew that Fitz had always hated the Mellie sent them off to boarding school. Olivia gave him the opportunity to keep the kids with them full time. Aside from knowing it was what Fitz wanted, Olivia enjoyed the displeasure it would bring to Mellie.

"Where's Mom?" Gerry asked surprised that she wasn't there.

"She's gone to get a coffee downstairs, you've just missed her but she'll be back soon."

Olivia had arranged for dinner to be sent over so that they could all eat together as a family. Cyrus being Cyrus made sure that someone had taken a photo of the seemingly happy family sharing a meal together to release to the public. She and Cyrus shared a pizza in her office before they headed back to the hospital. As she and Cyrus walked through the door Karen jumped to her feet and ran to Olivia flinging her arms around her waist.

"Hey Kare Bear, you're growing way too fast." She said cupping her face with her hands dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Hey Sport. What do they feed you at that school, you're both growing like weeds."

"Hey Liv," Gerry greeting wrapping both arms around her and Karen.

"It's good to be see you. It's been ages. Thanks for the care packages, they keep Karen and I sane and alive."

"You're welcome. It's the least I could do. Your letters had me in stitches on more than one occasion" Olivia could see Mellie bristle in the corner.

"We're going to work with your Dad for a bit, you guys staying?"

"No we're heading home. We were supposed to leave a little while ago but Kare insisted on waiting till we saw you." Olivia saw Cyrus try and suppress a smirk.

"Well I'm glad I got to see you both. Get some rest. I'm sure you'll be seeing me at the White House for a little while, at least till we get your Dad settled in."

"Great we'll come looking for you." Gerry said giving her one last hug and waiting for Karen to do the same before saying goodbye to their Dad.

It drove Fitz crazy watching how good she was with his kids. How they loved and adored her, that they had a relationship with her outside him. He could feel his anger waver as much as he didn't want it to.

For the next hour they worked on his speech, and he battled with her every chance he got. He was like a bear ready to pounce. It was like the Forest all over again. Cy on more than one occasion was about to put Fitz in his place but Liv would place a subtle hand on his arm and she her head as if to tell him no. She could handle Fitzgerald Grant.

"Mr President, I just need to check your vitals. Hey Liv, it's good to see you again. I've been missing our 3 am coffee dates."

"Hey Margaret, I've missed you too. I'll come and grab you before I head home tonight and we can grab one then." Fitz looked at them both in surprise.

"It's a deal. I brought you the cookies you love."

"Bless you! Cyrus and I will let you work on the President. We're done. I have a few calls to make but I'll meet you in about a half hour Mags. Goodnight Mr President."

"Cy, can you stick around?" Fitz requested as his mind whirled with questions.

"Sure Mr President, I'll walk Liv out and come back."

"I think that's the first time I've ever seen that Liv leave this hospital in the last three weeks."

"Excuse me?" Fitz said surprised.

"Mr President, that young lady has spent as much time in this hospital as you have. Every night after your wife has gone for the evening she is here. She reads to you, she lies with you. She's the one that's been giving you your sponge bath because she said you would probably be embarrassed that someone else was doing it. She has been doing leg exercises with you to ensure that your legs don't cease up. She's been giving you a shave every few days, she said she could probably shave you every night, but she liked the five o clock shadow on you." Fitz felt his heart drop to the floor, after everything he had said to her, she could have thrown all that in her face, and she didn't.

"It may be out of place Mr President, but I have never seen someone love and care for someone the way that young lady loves and cares for you."


	4. Chapter 4

Fitz had asked Margaret to send Tom in once she had finished with checking his vitals.

"Tom, has Ms Pope, has she, did she," he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to ask, but Tom read between the lines.

"Yes Mr President. She has been here every night, and any time she is not in the White House, or checking in at Pope and Associates Headquarters she's here."

"The First Lady mentioned that she had only been here once since I've been in the hospital." Fitz watched as Tom controlled his expression,

"She allowed Ms Pope to see you once and then revoked her privileges Sir. Ms Pope had no choice but to oblige to her wishes. But I found her waiting around after her privileges were revoked so that she could sneak in. I've been sneaking her in. She comes throughout the day, whenever she has a free moment or just needed a minute to see you. After the first week the First Lady started shortening her visits, and limiting them to an hour in the morning and in the afternoon, so it was a little easier to work around her."

"Just long enough for the press to capture her doting wife duties." Fitz muttered in utter frustration in realisation that his anger was greatly misguided.

"Thank you Tom."

"Of course Mr President."

Liv and Cyrus stood outside the doors of his private wing talking. Liv was doing her very best to talk Cyrus off his ledge. He was livid with the way Fitz was speaking to her. It was unlike him, and he knew that despite the fact that Olivia pretended to let it roll off her back, it still hurt her.

"I know I said that he can't fire you, but I will Liv. I won't keep letting him talk to you that way. I would rather fire you myself."

"Cy, calm down. I know it's unlike him, but Cy the man's been in a coma for weeks. Let's cut him a little slack. You and I both know that if he ever finds out exactly what was, no one is going to punish him more than himself."

"Small consolation." Cyrus muttered not appeased.

"If I've reached my limit, I promise I will quit myself." She said assuring him.

"But the man I love is still in there somewhere. Up until this point he hadn't given up on me, I won't give up on him now. While I can still see that there's a glimmer of what we once had in there, I'm sticking around. I promised myself that, and I promised him. So thank you, for having my back. I appreciate it more than you know."

"Okay," he said gruffly. Liv smiled and draped an arm around his shoulder dropping a kiss on his head.

"You're getting soft Cy." She teased.

"Go, get!

Cyrus took a deep breath before entering Fitz's room. He understood why Liv was giving Fitz a long leash, but he wasn't about to let him walk all over her. He was going to get a say in despite what she said if only to give him something to think about.

"Permission to be frank Mr President?" Fitz could see that Cyrus was mad, and a mad Cyrus was never good,

"If you ever speak to Olivia like the way you have been, so help me God. You have no idea what that she has been through the last few weeks."

"Cy, I think I just caught a glimpse." Fitz replied solemnly.

"She's been here every night?" he asked somewhat rhetorically,

"Every moment she's not at the White House or checking in at Pope and Associates. She's near killed herself from exhaustion bouncing from one to the other."

"Oh Liv," Fitz felt like someone had taken his heart and ripped it from his chest.

"I woke up and all I could think of was her, and how all I wanted was to be with her, and then I remembered our last moments and it hurt to remember that she's with Edison now."

"With is a relative term when it comes to you two. You may be with Mellie, but your heart was always with Liv. It's the same for her, she may have been with Edison, but her heart was always with you. FYI, Edison never stood a chance to begin with, but that ended the moment you were shot."

"Honey, have you slept at all recently? You know he's going to be fine right?" Margaret asked concerned.

"I know, but we're all hands on deck at the moment to make sure that he's back in that Oval office."

"Not at the cost of your health Liv. I've watched you the last three and a half weeks spend every waking moment making sure that man is looked after. He's fine now. You need to look after you."

"I promise, the moment his ass is in that Oval office, I am going to sleep for a weekend."

"I'm going to hold you to that. So we'll do lunch next week?"

"Definitely." Liv was hugging Margaret goodbye when her phone began to vibrate in her bag. She tried not to groan when she saw that it was Fitz's personal number, somewhat cautious of what was coming.

"I better go and take this. Take care and ill see you next week Mags."

"You too sweetheart." Liv kissed her cheek before turning to pick up Fitz's call,

"Good evening Mr President,"

"Hey Liv," Olivia stopped walking, it was the first time he hadn't called her Ms Pope since he had opened his eyes. It was also the first time that there was no hostility in his voice when he was addressing her.

"Cyrus..." She mumbled softly to herself with an eye roll.

"Are you still on hospital grounds?" He asked, her hesitation told him she was.

"Can we talk? Can you come back? Please."

"Sure, give me a few minutes." Olivia used her few minutes to compose herself. She grabbed a Mocha for Tom and sheepishly handed it to him at the door,

"Good evening Ms Pope."

"Don't think I can't read right through that poker face of yours Tom."

"I don't know what you mean Ms Pope," he replied with a small smile opening the door for her.

"I'm sure you don't,"

"Thank you for the coffee," Fitz heard Tom say as she walked hesitantly into this room.

"Mr President, was there something you needed?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry." He said,

"I've been behaving like an ass hat since you walked into that door that first night. I was angry, about a lot of things and you got the brunt end of it. I woke up and you weren't here. Despite how unreasonable it was and despite everything we've just been through I expected that you would be here, and when you weren't, it hurt. I waited for you to come, and when Cyrus came and you weren't with him I thought you didn't care, that I had truly lost you and that you had moved on without me. Even if it was me who let you go. I'm sorry Liv, I should have known better."

"It's ok Fitz." She said trying to comfort him,

"No, it's not. All I've done is make things difficult for you. I've been such an ass." Olivia sighed and walked over to the foot of his bed and placed a hand on his leg.

"And you know what, I can't make you feel worse than you've already made yourself. It truly doesn't matter. I almost lost you Fitz, and being able to be in the same room with you mad as hell at me is something I would take any day over not having you at all."

"Why didn't you tell me Mellie revoked your privileges?"

"Because it didn't matter. I would have made a way to be here, just as I did that night. I vowed to always make a way. I promised us both while you were in that coma that i would never give up on us. I didn't want to play into Mellie's games, and Fitz at the end of the day she had everyday right to ban me from seeing you. You are her husband. You belong to her and I didn't want to take that away from her. Mellie is Mellie but she's still your wife and I have to respect that."

"Liv,"

"Yeah,"

"Can you come closer?" Fitz requested holding out his hand to her. She walked over to the side of his bed and let him take her hand in his.

"Thank you for never leaving my side."

"Cyrus Beene, really!" She exclaimed in quiet disbelief, realizing that he knew everything.

"He's not the only one so ratted you out." There were only three possible suspects and she guessed all three were guilty.

"You were here every night? Every day?"

"Every chance I got." She admitted softly.

"It felt like every time I wasn't near you I couldn't breathe because I was scared that I would lose you, that you would slip away and I wouldn't be there. I didn't want to be Anna Fitz." Olivia said looking away, and he got what she meant immediately tightening the hold he had on her hand.

"I knew that if anything happened to you, God forbid. Mellie would never let me anywhere near you. She would never let me say Goodbye. I guess if anything were to happen to you, I wanted to be here. I needed to be here."

"Oh baby, come here." He said shifting in his bed to make room for her. Without hesitation Olivia put her bag down, took her shoes off and climbed into the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms securely around her as she lay her head on his chest. While one hand kept a firm grip around her, the other soothingly stroked her back.

"And Sally had me planning your funeral."

"Oh Liv Baby, I'm so sorry." Olivia snuggled as close to Fitz as possible as though trying to convince herself that she was really okay. Fitz kissed the top of her head. He understood why Cyrus was all of a sudden incredibly protective of her. In the last few weeks she had endured so much, and as she closed her eyes and immediately fell asleep in his arms he could finally see the toll it had taken on her. He vowed to make it up to her every day for the rest of their lives.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia awoke disoriented, unsure of where she was and how she got there. She looked up to see that Fitz was watching her sleep. Embarrassed she buried her face into the crook of his arm snuggling closer to him as she remembered their conversation earlier. Fitz brought his lips to her forehead hugging her a little tighter.

"I should really go. The press will start appearing shortly," When Fitz didn't make a move to release her she looked up at him,

"I don't want to go," she said caressing his cheek with her fingers,

"Then don't."

"Fitz…"

"I'm done with Mellie and her games. I'm done hiding how I feel about you. I'm done hiding you full stop. If I've learned anything its that we rarely get second chances, and I almost blew mine because I was stubborn and pigheaded. I pushed away the one person who never left my side because of a preconceived notion."

"Fitz, it could cost you your presidency and everything you've worked so hard for," she tried to reason,

"Liv, don't you get it? That doesn't mean anything to me if I'm not being true to who I am. What kind of president parades a wife he can barely stands, while longs for the love of his life behind close doors? How is living without the one thing I can't live without giving them the very best of me when I can't function without it? Don't you think we've lost enough?"

"Baby, I'm just thinking of you. I threw away my sensibilities the moment you were shot." Fitz grinned,

"And here I was practicing my spiel the whole time I watched you sleep!"

"That's not at all embarrassing." She said dryly burying her face back into his chest.

"Are you sure about this? This can go very bad, very quickly." She asked,

"I am, are you? As bad as my fall out is going to be it paints you in a picture..."

"That would have both my parents rolling in their grave?" Olivia continued quietly,

"Yeah," for a moment he wanted to take it back wanting to protect her.

"Liv, baby we can wait a little longer. We can do this right." He said thinking if it was Karen in her position what would he want for her.

"I know for sure I want to be together. That I will not let Mellie come between us again, and I'm willing to risk everything for a chance for us to finally be together, am I ready for what's coming my way as a price. I'd like to say yes. I'd like to think that those who know me, who know who I am will be able to see beyond the woman who went after the married man. Who broke up a marriage and a family, who left children with a broken home, but I am a little scared Fitz. Not so much about what people would think, there's only a handful I really care about in terms of opinion, but I don't want this to hurt your children. They may like me now, but when everything comes out, when the press start spreading lies to discredit me, I just don't want them to lose another person they trusted in. My relationship with them has always been separate from you, and this makes it messy." Fitz took a deep breath,

"So we do this right." He said knowing she was right. His wants aside, he also had to think of his children and make sure that the fall out for them is minimal.

"I'm sorry Baby." She said knowing she had just taken the wind from his sails.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for." He said cupping her face with his hands as he kissed her.

"I better get going then, the last think we both need is for Mellie to walk in on us."

"Let her,"

"Fitz,"

"The American Public is one thing, but Millicent Grant I can handle. You no longer take a back seat to her. You will not hide from her. You have every right to be here. You have more right than she does. You have been here since the moment I got shot, and before that." Olivia took a deep breath and shuffled closer to him tightening her grip around his middle. She braced herself for Hurricane Mellie.

"I love you." He murmured into her temple.

"I know. I love you too. We're in this together."


	6. Chapter 6

"I think that's your phone." Olivia groaned and hopped off the bed to take the call.

"Cyrus it's 5am."

"Meet me in the office."

"Cyrus it's 5am." She repeated in case he missed it the first time.

"Liv, I need you to meet me in the office."

"Okay okay, I'm coming. Give me a few minutes."

"I'll see you in ten." He said before hanging up.

"I have to go meet Cyrus." She said putting her shoes on.

"It's 5am." Fitz pointed out,

"He didn't seem to get the concept either. I should go before be has a coronary. I'll come by sometime today, you have your phone if you need to get in contact with me."

"That I do. You'll be hearing from me." He promised. As she bent down to kiss him goodbye he took her face with both hands,

"I love you. We'll get through this as long as we're together."

"I know Fitz. I love you too. Talk later and we can strategize." Fitz smirked,

"Did you just say strategize?"

"Shut up, you know what I mean." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips before heading out the door.

It didn't take Olivia long to get back to the office as it literally was five minutes away.

"What? What the heck is so important at five in the morning?"

"Mellie's about to leave for the hospital. I didn't want her to walk in on you both."

"Tom," Olivia said softly knowing that he was keeping a close eye on her.

"He called and strongly suggested I meet you here as soon as possible. When I asked why, he said that the First Lady was en route to the hospital. I put the two together and realised you were in his room, so I did as I was told."

"He must have known,"

"Known what Liv?"

"That Fitz wasn't going to let me go. Mellie be damned he wasn't going to let me out of his sight. I think a part of him was also so mad at Mellie that he wanted to throw us in her face."

"So does that mean?"

"I don't know what it means Cy. My mind is still working on it. I know that I love him. I know that I want to be with him. Consequences aside, I almost lost him and I know now what it feels like to come so close to never having him that I want him almost at all cost."

"Almost?" He detected hesitation

"We'll never come out of this well. His presidency will become a joke, more than that it'll drag his kids into a scandal they don't deserve. Their life is hard enough and I don't want to add to their chaos. Not to mention I can kiss my professional life goodbye. Can you imagine that fall out? But I love him Cy, I love him enough to risk it all. If he asked me to jump I would." Cyrus placed a hand over hers and gave it a squeeze.

"Because of the kids we decided to do this the right way. You're going to get a call and he's going to ask you to get the ball rolling on his divorce. He's going to talk to the kids first and then file."

"She's not going to go down without a fight Liv, and knowing Mellie she'll take you down with her."

"I know, but I love him Cy. A few days ago I wasn't sure he was ever going to wake up. I almost resigned myself to having lost him, I can't walk away now. Wrong as it may be, I need him as much as he needs me."

"Well, I can't say I didn't know this day would come. Which is probably why I started this," Cyrus said walking over to his desk and unlocking the top drawer to pull out a file. Olivia gasped when she realised he had handed her a file on Mellie. It was pictures of her with very guy they 'fixed' years before to deny all allegations of their affair. The photos dated back years to recent days.

"Oh my Gosh, does he know?"

"I think he suspects it, he would never confront her for the obvious reasons."

"Why stay married to him if she's happy elsewhere?"

"For the same reason he managed to stay with her all these years, for the same reason you wouldn't let him give it all up for you, the bigger picture and ambition. For her it's mostly ambition But you and I both know that theory has limited shelf life, throw in tragic life altering experience and well you're here..."

"You're being rather serene about this Cy. Should I be worried?" She teased,

"I watched you the last few weeks hanging on by a thread watching that man, willing him to wake up. I watched you run yourself to the ground to make sure he want for nothing. You barely ate, you never slept, and then he woke up, even after what he said to you that night, regardless how much it hurt you, you came alive again. He's the reason you breathe in and out, I always thought it was just him who was so dependent on you, but you live for that man just as much as he lives for you and he knows that. He wouldn't have fought you so hard if he didn't know it hurt you just as much as it hurt him not to be with you. Right now, I'm not his chief of staff, and I'm not even your mentor. I'm his friend and I am yours, so if you are both ready for this, I'm with you. We fight." Olivia's eyes welled up in tears,

"Cy, for what it's worth you've never just been my mentor or my friend. You've been like a father to me, I guess that's why I never told you about us, I wanted to but I knew I would disappoint you. That I let you down, you asked me to fix it and I made it more complicated than it should have ever been." Olivia had lost her parents in a car accident in her first year at college. Cyrus was her Dad's best friend. He took her under his wing and had been looking out for her since.

"They would be rolling in their grave right now," she said dropping her gaze to her feet.

"Kid, they'd be proud of you."

"How could they be? I'm breaking up a family. I had an affair with a married man, the president for pete's sake. I've disgraced them, their memory and everything they've instilled upon me."

"Hey, they are proud of you. They've always been proud of you."

"How could they be?"

"Because I am. I know what you gave up for that man, what you're willing to give up for him because you know this isn't the ideal set up. I know you walked away every chance you got so he could be a better man regardless how much it broke you. I'm proud because I know who you are as a person Liv and you are made of the very best of both your parents. I see so much of them in and through you. So trust me when I say they would be proud. Your situation may not be ideal but they know you didn't seek it. You followed your heart and they'd be proud of that." Olivia leaned back on the couch and placed her head on his shoulder and looped an arm through his,

"I miss them every day Cy," She confessed softly,

"Me too kid," Cy replied dropping a kiss on her temple.


	7. Chapter 7

A few minutes after Liv had left his room he could head the familiar footsteps of one Millicent Grant, it was purposeful, angry and looking for a fight. Tom braced himself at the door and stepped aside when he came face to face with the First Lady. His door flew open and it was obvious that she was expecting that Fitz would not be alone. As Tom went to close the door, Fitz met his gaze and gave a thankful nod. Mellie looked like she was on a rampage, and though he no longer wanted to hide Olivia, he certainly didn't want her to be at the receiving end of Mellie's wrath. It seemed he had a lot to thank Tom for.

"Good Morning Millicent." Fitz greeted evenly,

"Don't you start with me Fitzgerald, where is she? Where's your little,"

"Don't you finish that sentence Mellie," He warned,

"How dare you?" she yelled,

"How dare you! How dare you keep her from being here!"

"So she finally broke and ratted me out."

"She did no such thing. You don't cover your tracks very well Mellie, you can't blame her for your sloppiness. I should have known."

"I had every right to throw her out of here. I am your wife!"

"You may be my wife but it was her that was here every day and every night despite the fact that you banished her. She was the one who cared for me. She did more for me in these last few weeks than you ever did as my wife in how many years. Don't think for a moment that I don't know that the moment the press presence dwindled so did yours. So don't stand there in contempt as though she took something away from you. She is not to blame for our problems, we were broken long before she came into our lives. You don't get to call her names, make accusations, let's not forget that you don't exactly have the cleanest of slates."

"Are you threatening me Fitzgerald?"

"No, I am merely saying that we're done. Consequences be damned, I am not doing this with you anymore. I am filing for a divorce. "

"At the risk of losing your presidency, you wouldn't!"

"I think you and I both know I would.

"You love her that much."

"And then some."

Olivia went home for a quick shower and change. They were doing that nation's address later that morning. She and Cyrus still needed to prep Fitz and Mellie, which she certainly wasn't looking forward to. She almost threw her arms around Cyrus in gratitude when he told her to take the morning to get ready, and check in with her office, that he was happy to brief and prep the President and First Lady. She knew he was trying to not aggravate Mellie before he put her in front of the cameras. Fitz wasn't at all surprised to see that Cyrus had arrived alone to make sure that they were well prepped. Olivia had chosen what he was to wear the day before. They had decided that he would do his address from his hospital room sitting beside Mellie on the couch. His clothes covered the severity of his injuries, with only a small bandage on his head remained visible. His colour was good and he looked well on his way to full recovery.

Olivia arrived in the nick of time. Fitz and Mellie had just sat down on the couch. As though his senses were alerted he looked up just as she reached Cyrus. Though his facial expression was in control his eyes spoke volumes. It spoke of the love that they had declared to each other only hours before. It held promise for a future. It held hope.

As Kimberly Wallace began her interview Cyrus could feel Olivia grow tenser by the minute. He discreetly moved closer to her, feeling his presence and support Olivia began to calm down. She looked down at him and looped an arm through his and placed her chin on his shoulder. Olivia's grip on Cyrus tightened as Mellie leaned closer and closer to Fitz, her hands possessively all over him. She felt Cyrus pat her arm soothingly.

"Fitz and I would also like to announce that we are expecting our third child." Fitz looked at Mellie and did a convincing job of looking happy instead of shocked. His eyes discreetly wandered over to Olivia who's grip had become so tight around Cyrus' arm that her knuckles were white. So many thoughts were flying around in her head. She told herself to pull it together. She wasn't going to show Mellie any weakness. After the interview she made a beeline for Kimberly Wallace to debrief as she would normally. She signaled to Cyrus that she was going to walk Kimberly out. Cyrus knew that was also her way of saying that she wasn't going to return. At least not while Mellie was in the room, and judging from the looks she was darting Olivia's way, she knew that Olivia had spent the night. Which only meant that she had no intention of leaving Fitz's side any time soon. Fitz tried to catch Olivia's eye, he wanted her to know that he didn't know. Though he knew that she read him well enough to know that it was as much as a surprise to him as it was to her. The pregnancy they had concocted all those months ago to cover the Amanda Tanner scandal was eventually canned with another miscarriage. He knew that Mellie was pulling out all of her cards. He didn't miss the look of hurt that passed through Olivia's face at the thought that he and Mellie were still intimate and that they had created yet another child together. Though every fiber of her being instinctively had her reaching for her running shoes, she reminded herself that she vowed to stand by him, to not walk away despite how much the thoughts in her head were starting eat at her. She met his gaze biting her lower lip. She tried to give him the best reassuring look she could. One that told him that she was still in his corner, that she still loved him. She was hurt, but she loved him. He stared after her long after she had walked out. When Tom ducked his head in he knew that there were no more press lingering. Taking a breath he looked at Mellie,

"WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT MILLICENT?"


	8. Chapter 8

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND MILLICENT?" Fitz bellowed. Cyrus would have jumped in surprise if he hadn't wanted to rip Mellie's heart from her throat himself. Mellie looked at him triumphantly,

"Did you honestly think I would just step aside and allow you to move on with her? After everything we have been through, after all the sacrifices. You are the one out of your mind Fitzgerald."

"How many times are you going to play the 'I'm pregnant' card Mellie? It's a little over played don't you think?"

"But this time it's truth." She said looking right at him, and he knew she was telling the truth.

"Two words, hunting trip!" Cyrus watched as the colour on Fitz's face drained. Fitz knew exactly what she was referring to. After he got back from his Hunting Trip with Olivia and Mellie had confronted him about the sudden change of his mood, they had gotten into a heated argument and one thing led to another they ended up having angry sex. Which was the first time he'd been with his wife since he saw Olivia again and the last. The look of triumph in Mellie's face made him feel sick to the stomach. Cyrus wasn't quite sure whether he should leave or stay. He could tell that Mellie just won that round. He wondered the fall out of the loss would be for Olivia. His loyalty for her had him leave the room without a backward glance. Fitz watched helplessly as Cyrus walked out.

"So what exactly are you hoping to achieve Mellie? I'd assume you have a plan and you have demands." He had no plans on going along with them, but he at least wanted to know what she had in mind, and to give credit where it was due, Mellie knew he was trying to humour her.

"We stay married till after your term. You stop seeing Olivia. We give this marriage a go."

"Why would you want to stay in this marriage, when you know she owns my heart completely?"

"Because we didn't work this hard so you can throw it all away. I will not go down being humiliated. I will not let you drag this family into a sex scandal."

"Family? That's a bit of a stretch for you isn't it? Why would I go along with your conditions?"

"You'll go along with it, or I will make sure I drag Olivia and her reputation down the mud. The moment you file for divorce I will expose your affair and you know I am more the capable of painting her in a not so pretty light. I will make sure the nation blames her for the break up of our marriage, and every thing else I can possibly think of. She will be reduced as some cheap whore who stole the President from the First Lady." Mellie knew if there was anything that would keep Fitz from walking away, it was his love for Olivia. She knew that he would never risk hurting her in such a way. It was one thing to reveal that she is the woman that he loved, but it was another to allow Mellie to drag her name through mud. She didn't deserve that. The look on Fitz's face told her that she had his attention.

"I want her out of our lives once and for all. Make it happen!" Mellie demanded storming out of his room leaving him dumbfounded. He was outplayed. He called out to Tom and asked him to send Cyrus in.

Olivia who was out of sorts found herself in her office at Pope and Associates pacing in circles, she didn't want to be at home and thankfully when she got to the office, everyone but Huck was working on a case. She was waiting for the call that the coast was clear, that she could return to the hospital. As much as she didn't want to go, the longer time that passed, the more she worried. Technically, Mellie was his wife therefore her being pregnant shouldn't be such an outrageous possibility, but it still hurt to think he was still sharing a bed with her. Mellie was in form, and Olivia knew she was out for blood.

As Fitz told Cyrus everything that just transpired he clenched his fists in anger that Mellie would stoop so low, yet he wasn't surprised.

"You can't let her do that to Liv."

"I don't have any intention of doing so."

"Sir, I have evidence of Mellie and her ongoing affair. If we leak that before she has the chance, maybe that would work."

"It's still messy. The kids will be dragged in and as much as I lothe Mellie right now, I don't want my kids to see me destroy their mother through the tabloids. She may not have a conscience, but I do."

"So?"

"So we do this Mellie's way till we find an alternative, and I will keep looking Cy. I want to be with Liv, but I don't want her destroyed in the process."

After countless laps the call came from Cyrus telling her that the President wanted to see her. Taking a breath she gathered her belongings and made her way back to the hospital. Cyrus was waiting for her at the entrance, which was an indication that the conversation she was about to have was potentially going to be bad.

"I'll be here when you're done." Olivia nodded not at all comforted by his words because all it did was want to prepare herself for the absolute worst. As she walked in Fitz glanced up,

"Hey Sweetheart." She could see the sadness in his eyes, the regret, the apology.

"So it's true?" She asked somewhat unnecessarily.

"It is Liv,"

"Well I suppose in fairness she is your wife. I wish I could say that made me feel better but it really doesn't."

"I'm sorry,"

"So what happens now?" She asked, the baby was definitely a game changer.

"Mellie wants to stay married till my term is finished. She said she's worked far too hard and given up so much only to have her humiliated in the middle of it." As much as Olivia may despise Mellie and her games, she had a point. Olivia was well aware of the sacrifices that she made to get Fitz into his presidency. Fitz tried to discern her thoughts but her face gave nothing away.

"So I guess we're done," she said releasing the breath she had been holding,

"Liv,"

"You have to hand it to her. She's good!" Olivia observed, her voice void of any emotion.

"What does she have over you that you're actually going along with this?" Olivia knew him better than that. Fitz hesitated, contemplating on whether or not to tell her the real reason why. If he told her she would insist upon throwing herself in front of the train to keep them together. He knew that much. If the last couple of days had taught him anything it's that her love had no bounds for him. It broke his heart to shake his head,

"Nothing, I realise that I can't drag my kids through a messy separation and that's what this would end up being. She's still their mother and you and I both know she has a point. Mellie practically sold her soul to get me here.

"We all did." Olivia thought to herself.

"I'm a fixer, I can fix this." She said somewhat desperately to herself but she knew she couldn't and Fitz wished he was physically cross the room to wrap his arms around her,

"You said. So everything last night, you know what no." Olivia said incoherently shaking her head.

"I love you. I want to be with you at any cost. We can do anything as long as we're together. Isn't that what you said?"

"I do love you. So much I don't know how to breathe without you. Any cost is too high of a price my love." He could see the thought that formed in her head but did not speak out,

"So it's okay when you ask me to leap at any cost but not the other way around."

"I'm sorry Liv. We can't do this. I can't see you anymore." Olivia looked at him in the eye as he spoke the words that tore her to her core,

"I guess Mellie wins after all." She said sadly dropping her gaze defeatedly before turning to leave the room.

"Liv," he called out to her. Olivia who's hand was on the door paused, took a breath and walked out. She stood outside his door trying to catch her breath, and jumped when she heard him throw something against the wall cursing Mellie and himself. Tempted to go back in there Olivia forced herself to walk towards the exit. Cyrus was leaning against the wall when she emerged. He took one look at her took her into his arms,

"He loves you."

"I keep hearing that Cy."

"You doubt it?"

"No, I know he does."

"But?"

"But maybe we've over rated it. I always had it in my head that we were endgame. Maybe that's why being apart was okay before and I thought we finally had our shot but I guess not. Maybe we've over estimated, over romanticized whatever it was to justify just how wrong it was. I mean really, what Mellie is asking for isn't the world. It's common courtesy when you pledge your whole life to loving someone for the rest of your life isn't it?" In a way it started making sense to her.

"I'm going to head back to my office where I belong. Have an aide send the rest of my stuff over. In saying that I'm happy to get you through till his re-appointment provided I don't have to be in his presence."

"Thank you!" He knew in part she was willing to stay on for him, a portion was still for Fitz despite everything but a big part was for him and for that he was grateful.


	9. Chapter 9

Patterns are made up of familiarity, habit and regardless how destructive there's a pull towards it as there is a sense of comfort in facing something or heading somewhere you've been before. It doesn't matter if that path or that behavior had hurt you, you justify that it's hurt that you've had before so at least you know what to expect. Instead of delving into the unknown that could potentially cripple you.

Olivia knew she wanted Fitz, that all she's ever wanted was him. However her sense of right or wrong always pulled her aside. It didn't matter that she was already knee deep, she just never could fully commit to what he had to offer. However little it seemed, she knew that she owned his heart, even if Amanda Tanner made her question it for a brief second. Fitz had never hidden how he felt about her. He was the one who always wore his heart on his sleeve, trying to break down her defenses because he knew the only thing he could give her was his heart. His body, his life, his every day belonged to his wife, his children, and the country. His ability to reveal his vulnerability when it came to her frightened her because everything he felt, she felt too. He gave her the one thing that belonged only to him, the only thing he had left to give. His heart.

Olivia went straight into Huck's office when she arrived at Pope and Associates. Thankful that everyone was still out. Huck looked up and saw her face, and stood to his feet.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked panicked. Olivia, normally so stoic and in control, was like an open book and he could see right through her. He knew she allowed him that privilege. Therefore the thought that someone had hurt her made him angrier. She was like a sister to him and he cared about her immensely.  
"Not really, I just need a minute." She said as her voice cracked with all the emotion that she was holding in. The last time he had seen her like this was when Amanda Tanner had told her that she was pregnant. Huck nodded and sat back down and averted his eyes elsewhere. Olivia loved Huck like a brother and without Stephen their dysfunctional set up sat in place of the comfort that she used to get from having Stephen as her once BFF. He knew there were just some days where she needed a moment to break down and he allowed her that safe place within his walls. After a few minutes Olivia gathered herself together,  
"Huck, I need your help with something."  
"Name it."

A couple of hours later Olivia was back in the hospital. She looked at Tom as if to ask him the question and he gave her a nod to confirm that Fitz was alone. Tom stepped aside and opened the door for her giving her an encouraging nod. Gratefully she placed a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. If they ever got out of the mess they were in she was going to buy him a drink. She wasn't ignorant to the risk he was putting his job in to allow her to come and go simply because he knew it was what the president wanted and because he had grown a soft spot for her. Fitz looked up as she stood at his door not expecting to see her again that day or ever and he would have understood this time around.

"I love you. I have always loved you. I know that I was and am always the one who held back, the first to walk away, the first to leave. I know that hurt you and I'm sorry. I know deep down you knew the reason why I did was because I didn't want want you to give up your presidency for me. I still believe you are meant to be great and this country needs someone who is great leading them in times that things like shooting little children in schools happen. You are strong, you're courageous, but most of all you care. You care about the people and you would rather be accused of being soft that go to war just because everyone else thinks we should, and when you love, you love so wholeheartedly and I am grateful and extremely fortunate to have been at the receiving end of that. So thank you."  
"Liv,"  
"Please let me finish," she almost pleaded wanting to get everything out while she still could. Fitz nodded fully aware that she had not made a move towards him.  
"I know you love me, and I know you would do anything to protect me, but l don't need you to protect me. I'm a big girl and I can handle whatever Mellie wants to throw my way. She's blackmailing you by using me as her pawn isn't she?" Fitz nodded knowing that there was no point in lying.  
"She's threatened to use everything she can on me? Paint me as some home wrecking whore?" Fitz flinched at her words.  
"She has pictures and video Fitz. That's why she's so confident that she can successfully do it." He looked at her in surprise.  
"The only reason you'd ever close the door on us is if you thought that Mellie can get to me and you're wanting to protect me." Fitz could only nod again.  
"It took me a moment but I got there," She said almost apologetically.  
"So I had Huck dig up what she has on me. On us. She's had a Private investigator follow us from when we were still campaigning. Billy had given her a copy of that audio long before we ever got a hold of it. Since then she's had us followed. She has a lot of photos, and as I said before videos."  
"Liv, I'm so sorry." He apologized for not being careful, for being so selfish, for only thinking about his needs at the time and not what was right for her. For putting her in a compromising situation on more than one occasion. He failed to protect her, to shield her from possible scandal an now they were about to pay.  
"I know Fitz, but the blame isn't yours alone. It's mine too. We were naive to think that the time when we would need to pay for our sins wouldn't come. Fitz it may have felt right to us in almost every way but it was wrong, you were never mine to have and I took you anyway. I have no regrets, I love you. You are the love of my life, but this day was always going to come. It'll probably get ugly, but what we did was ugly. We justified it with our love, something that felt so right couldn't possibly be wrong, but it was Fitz. It always was. If you want to really divorce Mellie, take me out of the equation, do it. Don't do it for me. Do it for you. Do it because its the right thing for you. I think you and I have done so much to try and protect the other that we've one lost what we've truly wanted and created a barrier between us, and I know I was the worst one at that and I am sorry. Whatever Mellie has on me, I've seen them. I can live with them. I would like to however speak to your kids first before it all hits the fan. I want to apologise before they see the very worst of me and prepare them."  
"I don't want you to throw yourself in front of the bus Liv."  
"I know which is why you gave me that rather lame walk away speech this morning. Fitz I'm not forcing you into this. I'm giving you the opportunity to walk away from Mellie if that's what you want to do so you can start a new. Be the best president you can be as Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III standing as your own person. I'm not saying divorce Mellie for me, so that we can be together. From this day forward I want you to do what you want, what you think is best for you. I made a vow when you were in that coma that I would stand by you, to never walk away from you again and I'm sticking to that. Until you tell me that you don't love me anymore that it's over, I'll be by your side. Like I said to you that first time we saw each other after I first walked away, I've never left your side. Even when you've gotten me me so angry, I had never left your side."  
"Liv,"  
"Yeah,"  
"Could you maybe move a little closer? I've been wanting to pull you into my arms the moment you walked in the door but seeing as I'm a little immobile you're going to have to come here."  
"Are you sure this is what you want?"  
"Get your butt over here." He almost growled. Olivia made her way over to the side of his bed somewhat apprehensively. He reached for her hand and pulled her down so she could sit on his bed facing him. He placed a hand on her cheek,  
"I'm sorry about this morning. For not talking to you first before making the decision. The thought of her going after you scared me. You've worked so hard to get to where you are. We both know how ruthless Mellie is and I didn't want you caught in the middle of her wrath. I've never seen her like that before and it frightened me. She didn't care that she was going to hurt the kids, she just wanted to make sure she took you down if I went through with it." He confessed. Olivia leaned forward and kissed his forehead,  
"Thank you for loving me that much, and your kids are incredibly lucky to have you." Fitz took both her hands in his,  
"Let's get something clear, I want a divorce. I want you. I want us!" He declared.  
"Then we'll find a way. Besides Huck gave us a head start." She said pulling a file from her bag. Fitz grinned and stole a kiss,  
"Behave, we have work to do."

Thank you all of the feedback. As some of you noticed I wasn't quite sure about the last chapter. Hopefully this one ties it back...


	10. Chapter 10

"Where did Huck get all this?" Fitz asked in amazement suddenly a little afraid of Huck's ability.

"It's better you don't ask. Trust me he didn't even tell me."

"That's because he protects you. Just like Cy does," Fitz observed looking pensive for a moment.

"Like you do." She said dropping a kiss on his temple before showing him the rest of the file content.

"I don't know Liv,"

"You don't know what Fitz?" She asked confused,

"I don't know if I've ever protected you. I just knew I wanted you and I made sure I got you. I never thought about what I was going to expose you to. If I protected you, I wouldn't have pursued you till it was right. I should have divorced Mellie long ago. I should have waited till I was free to love you and now you get dragged into this mess with me." Liv put down the file and looked at him,

"There were two consenting adults who started this. I wanted you as much as you wanted me. At the time it was all that mattered which was selfish on both our parts not just yours. I could have walked away long before we got to that point,"

"I wouldn't have let you." He slipped in as she smiled,

"I know, but the point is both you and I could have protected each other better."

"You tried, I just made it hard for you."

"That you certainly did, but I always got why." Olivia assured him.

"So how are we going to do this?"

Fitz had sent for Gerry and Karen. They wanted to be up front with them and let them know what they were going to go up against. What was going to be displayed all over the place worst case scenario.

"Liv!" Karen said excitedly as her eyes fell on Olivia. Fitz loved that both his kids lit up at the sight of her, that they loved her almost as much he did.

"Hey my not so little Kare Bear." Olivia said standing to her feet to brace herself for impact. Karen threw her arms around Olivia's waist hugging her hello.

"Hey Sport, you're getting more and more handsome every day." Gerry blushed and kissed her cheek hello.

"And you beautiful girl, your Dad's going to have a really hard time sending those boys away."

"Ger said I'm not allowed to date till I'm thirty." Karen complained. Fitz smirked, while Olivia is chuckled.

"Don't worry, we'll work on them."

"Listen guys there's something we want to talk to you about." Fitz began. Olivia took a deep death and gave Karen another brief squeeze before letting her go. Aware that after the conversation they were about to have they may just hate her. By the tone of Fitz's voice Karen and Gerry knew what was coming was going to be serious.

"Are you okay Dad?" Gerry said worriedly, though Fitz looked a lot better, they were more than a little aware that only a couple of days before he was in a coma.

"Yeah Sport, I'm okay. We wanted to talk to you about Liv and I."

"What about you and Liv?" Karen asked, looking from one to the other.

"There's no easy way to say this, so here goes." He said looking at Liv,

"I love Liv, I've loved Liv for a really long time. Being shot, and almost losing my life, I realized that I didn't want to live the rest of my life in a lie. I loved your Mom, and there's a part of me that will always care about her, she gave me the greatest kids in the world and I will always be grateful for that, but I don't want to go on pretending as though my heart doesn't belong elsewhere. I'm going to ask your Mom for a divorce." Gerry and Karen looked at each other before looking at Fitz and Olivia, it was as though there was an exchange of conversation between them before they addressed their father.

"I guess we're not really surprised. I mean ever since I can remember you and Mom have been at each other's throats. There's always some snide jab here and there, in hindsight I guess we always knew that it was the presidency that kept you two together. If a divorce is what's going to make you happy, then do it Dad. Life is too short." Gerry said,

"As for Liv, I guess we always knew that too. It's like you come alive when she's in the room. She brings out the best in you."

"Listen you guys, we never meant for this to happen, and we tried to avoid it. Your Dad loves you and the last thing we wanted to do was hurt you." Olivia piped in softly.

"Is that why you quit so suddenly after Daddy got sworn in?" Karen asked looking at Liv as if putting it all together in her head.

"Yeah sweetheart. What we did was wrong, and I didn't want your Dad to start his presidency with a possible scandal threatening to be exposed. He is a great president, and the people needed him, you needed him. That was more important."

"As wrong as what we did was, and we take full responsibility for that, it doesn't diminish the fact that I fell in love with Liv. For the first time in my life, with the exception of the two of you I loved so uninhibitedly. I don't want to hide that anymore, and I owe it to you both to be honest, and I am sorry that you two have had to grow up under your Mom and I constantly battling with each other. You have to know that we both love you. That you are both our worlds."

"Dad, Mom may love us but we're not her world. We know without a shadow of doubt that we are yours, which is why you will always have our love and support just as you've always had ours." Gerry and Karen, always knew that Mellie cared about them, but there was always a barrier between them. Whether she meant to our not the children always felt as though she kept them at arms length, while Fitz was completely hands on and entirely loving. They had sat through the arguments that went on for months about sending them off to boarding school. Gerry and Karen knew that Fitz didn't want them to be sent away because he wanted to keep their family together.

"Don't be too hard on your Mom, she just loves differently to your Dad, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you just as much," Olivia caressing Karen's cheek as she looked up at her.

"You really love my Daddy don't you?" Karen observed,

"Yeah sweet girl I do, I really do." Olivia said looking from Karen to Gerry.

"Then that's enough for us. You've always loved us for us from the very beginning, even before you two got together and I never felt that change even after you left. You always made sure you had our best interest at heart. We've never felt anything less than how you care for us. So if it's our blessing you are after, you have it. Well I don't want to speak for Kare, but you have mine."

"Mine too. We do love you Liv. It'll probably take a little getting used to but we're behind you and Dad all the way. It's what families do." Karen said taking Liv's hand in hers and Fitz's. Fitz leaned forward to drop a kiss on his daughters forehead and pulled Gerry down for a hug.

"Dad, is this going to hurt your presidency?" Gerry asked,

"More than likely. I'm trying to take every precaution so that it doesn't. I'd rather run this country being honest with the country and risk losing it than keep running it on a lie. You three in this room are the most important to me, and you come first. One of the reasons why Liv and I wanted to talk to you both is because this could potentially become ugly. There are pictures, and videos that could be released to paint Liv in a really unpleasant light. That she went after me to destroy the marriage between the First Lady and the president, who broke up the First Family. Living under the radar, which we have managed to do for you, will be harder. They are going to come at you guys with pictures, questions, and whatever else they can. We're hoping that being away at school will keep you away from all that ugliness, but you'll probably have to deal with them at your school too."

"No," Gerry interrupted,

"What Son?"

"If you're going to be in the middle of this, America needs to see that we stand as a family. That we love Liv, and that we support you."

"We don't want to put you through that. We made this mess, and we don't want to drag you into it." Liv tried to reason,

"It's going to be messy regardless, shouldn't we stand together instead of apart? Let us come home, I understand why you're trying to protect us, but we're a family and families stick together."

"What about your Mom?" Fitz asked,

"We love Mom Dad, and we will always be there for her, but we love you too and if standing by your side keeps you being president, then we will stand beside you. It's not about picking one side over another, but being there for one another, and you've always been there for us. Both of you, so we will be there for you." Gerry said adamantly.

"Your Mom's not going to see it that way."

"Maybe not, but the three of us have always been partners, Mom would know that we would always stand beside you, and now that there's four of us doesn't change that." Liv appreciated the solidarity but she didn't want to destroy the relationship between Mellie and her children.

"Hey Munchkin, can you do me a favour? Can you stand outside with Tom for a second, I promise to fill you in later, but I just need to talk to Liv and Dad." Karen hesitated but she trusted Gerry. She worshipped the ground he walked on and in return he has always taken care of and doted on her. She nodded and went outside and did as she was told. Fitz and Liv looked at Gerry curiously and somewhat worriedly. He was sitting on Fitz's bed facing Fitz while Olivia stood next to him,

"I know about Keith. I've always known about Keith. It started long before you even thought about running for president. I was five when I found out." Olivia gasped.

"Oh sweetheart," she said running her fingers through his hair,

"I'm so sorry." Fitz said placing a hand on his arm, his heart breaking for his child, that he'd been carrying that with him for ten years. It explained why Gerry was always guarded with Mellie. Olivia could see that it still hurt him. Gerry adored his father, and to think that his mother was betraying him was heartbreaking, especially at five.

"I may not necessarily agree with the way you two got together, but I appreciate that you have been honest with Karen and I. I appreciate that you are willing to risk everything to make this right, to be together without the lying. It tells me just how much you love each other and how much you both love Karen and I because you want us to be a part of the decision you make. I know that if Karen and I were against it, you wouldn't go through with it that you'd endure the whole term apart in order to protect us."

"You and Karen are our first priority."

"And Karen and I have never doubted that for a second Liv, which is why we're willing to stand by you. So please, let us."

"Are you sure?" Fitz asked placing a hand on Gerry's shoulder looking at him in the eye.

"Yeah Dad, we're in this together. As a family." Fitz pulled Gerry to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"I love you kid."

"I love you too Dad." Gerry replied, as he lay his head on Fitz's chest. Olivia brushed his hair away from his forehead and stroked his bac.

"I might leave you two for a bit and take Karen down for some ice cream. Can I get you both anything?" Both shook their heads. Olivia bent down to place a kiss on both their heads before leaving them.

Olivia found Karen playing cards with Tom on the seats just outside the door. Out of all the Secret Service Agents that were in the Presidential detail Tom was Karen's favourite. She mostly tolerated the others as she found their constant presence as annoying.

"Hey Kare Bear, you up for some ice cream?"

"Is everything okay?" she asked worriedly looking towards the door,

"Yeah sweetheart. Gerry and your Dad just need to talk man to man."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes my sweet girl. Let's go. Tom, the usual?" she asked.

"Yes Ma'am." He replied with a small smile knowing whether he said yes or no she'd bring him a Mocha anyway. Liv and Karen headed downstairs to the cafeteria followed closely by Edward who had been assigned to Karen.

"Hey Liv,"

"Yeah Kare,"

"This is going to get ugly isn't it?" At the age of twelve going on thirteen who's had to live with a presidential campaign, Karen had to grow up too quickly. Both she and Gerry did. Their saving grace was each other, Gerry protected Karen and they stuck together. The three of them, Fitz, Gerry and Karen had been a team since she first met them. One of the things that made her fall in love with Fitz was the fact that he loved his children without measure.

"It very well could Kiddo."

"Are you scared?"

"I am," she confessed,

"Because they're going to make you look bad?"

"Partly, but also because as much as I love your Dad, I'm not proud of what we did. When it comes out, it makes it real you know?"

"Are you worried about what people think?"

"I would be lying if I said no, but I trust those who are my real friends, and people who are meant to be in my life know that this is something I didn't set out to do. I didn't mean to fall in love with your Dad, it just happened, and no matter how hard we tried to run away from it, it just kept following us around."

"For what it's worth, Gerry and I know that. We know how much you love him, and how above all else, it's his well being you look after. When you left the White House, those first few weeks it was like someone died, he was going through the motions. Gerry and I felt so helpless, we were back at school then and we spoke to him every night as we always did, but we just knew that he was more than a little off. Makes sense now."

"I thought if I walked away, it would make it easier."

"It didn't?" Karen guessed,

"Not really."

"Kare, if you or Gerry have any misgivings about this, we don't have to do this. We can wait till your Dad finishes his term." Karen shook her head,

"Dad loves you. He should be with you. He's lived for years doing the right thing, and it's his turn to get his chance. You both deserve it. Gerry and I will stand beside you."

"And your Mom?" Olivia asked uncertainly,

"I don't think she'd be very surprised to find Gerry and I want to stand by Dad or even you."

"I don't want to make your lives more difficult than it has to be,"

"Liv, it's not just our lives that's about to get more complicated, it's yours too. Out of all of us, you probably have the most to lose. It's your reputation that's about to get dragged through mud, and you're willing to go through with it because you love our Dad. The least we can do is stand beside you, you've always stood by us."

After saying goodbye to Gerry and Karen, Olivia sunk exhaustedly beside Fitz on his bed. They weren't quite prepared for Gerry's revelation or his kids full blessing and support.

"Gerry's known for almost ten years, how could she be so careless?"

"Sweetheart, we weren't much better at being discreet. Let's not throw stones. The fact is Mellie has been in an ongoing affair for ten years, which means she has to love him. She hasn't only been protecting her reputation but his too."

"Liv, that baby…"

"I know Fitz, my mind's already gone there, but we can't check for paternity without her permission, and without that we have to wait till the baby is born to check DNA. She's got to have good reason to think its yours or she wouldn't have been so blatant about announcing it to the world. Maybe they were on a break at the time? I'll have Huck look into it further."

"Hal's about to start his shift. I should really go."

"Wait, he's the one?"

"Has been since you lost your PIN when we were looking at the constitution." She answered,

"Tom's been great at letting me slip in and out without Hal knowing because he also realized that it was Hal that was feeding Mellie information, but the other night when I stayed with you Tom didn't get a chance to warn me like he normally does."

"Which is why Cyrus called you?"

"Yeah, Tom didn't want Mellie to ambush me."

"That man needs a raise." Fitz said kissing the side of her head.

"If we get out of this in one piece I am taking that man to get drunk, he deserve a drink."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah, but probably not till the evening. We can't risk it with Hal. Until we have all the information we need and know our next step we have to be a little careful. We don't want to set her off till we're ready."

"Cy's cleaned out my desk and sent Ava to deliver my belongings to Pope and Associates this afternoon. Mellie thinks you've ended it and fired me. I'll still be helping Cy with getting you back in the Oval, but it'll probably have to be from my office."

"You've left me again." He said sadly though he was unconscious since her return to the White House he had gotten used to the idea of having her there again.

"Hey you fired me." She teased as his face scrunched up,

"Not funny yet?"

"No, it probably never will be." He replied dryly.

"Lighten up. We won today. You have your iPad and your phone so I am contactable. You'll just have to hold out for my physical presence till the night time, the other thing, how would you feel if I had my team help us with this?"

"If it gets us to where we need to be, I don't mind. Are you ready for them to know?"

"They're about to find out. I'd rather it came from me, and there is really no one else I trust to handle this."

"Then go for it."

"Okay, will keep you posted. Talk to you later. Bye baby!" she said kissing him goodbye. Fitz groaned as she pulled away,

"Chill, if this all goes to plan, we have the rest of our lives to make out. I promise." Fitz grinned,

"I'll hold you to that."


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey Cy, can you come by OPA when you get a chance? We need to talk and not there."

"Sure Liv. You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good. I need to catch you up." She said rather cryptically.

"Sure Kid,"

"So what's the buzz?" Olivia asked curiously,

"You had to get back to OPA but you're still moonlighting till your replacement is found. Mellie thinks he's fired you."

"Well he sort of did." She pointed out somewhat ironically.

"Liv,"

"I'm fine Cy, I swear. When you get here I'll fill you in."

Olivia had to chuckle when Cy showed up in her office less than fifteen minutes later.

"There was no ledge involved Cy, you didn't have to warp speed it to my office." She said touched,

"You were eerily calm." He explained taking a seat in front of her.

"Thai?" She offered looking at the time knowing that he would have worked through lunch,

"Bless you." He answered. Olivia smiled and picked up the phone and ordered their usual to be delivered.

"So, you were going to catch me up."

"I figured Mellie was blackmailing him and went back to the hospital room and stood my ground."

"Good for you! But are you sure about this? Mellie's out for blood. Yours in particular."

"I am. I know what she has on me. She has pictures and videos." Olivia saw Cy clench his fists together,

"It's okay Cy. I'm a big girl. I acknowledge that I did the wrong thing and that my actions have consequences. We've sat down with Gerry and Karen and told them about us and what the worst possible case scenario would be. The kids want to stand by Fitz, by us to let the nation know that we're a unit, that they're happy for us and give us their blessing."

"Wow!"

"Yeah, there was no talking them out of it."

"Mellie is going to go ballistic,"

"I so don't even want to be in the same suburb when she realises. I'm going to bring my team in for damage control. I won't let him abandon his presidency. We're going to fight all the way to make sure he stays in office. You in?" She said somewhat unnecessarily.

"Front and centre." He answered proudly.

"So what's our game plan " Olivia took out the several files that she, well mostly Huck had put together. Cy went to grab something from the satchel he was carrying and placed his Mellie file on the table. Olivia raised an eyebrow,

"I figure you might need it one day. Who knew one day would come so soon?" He answered her unspoken question,

"Thank you! I would rather this not get ugly. Those kids have been through enough. His presidency shouldn't have to be the price he pays for loving someone. He says he's willing to walk away from it now, but Cy he'll regret it. There's still so much more he dreams of doing for his country, that shouldn't be taken away from him simply because he followed his heart. I don't want to be the reason he loses what he's worked his whole life for."

"Liv, what I've only now just understood and you now need to try and understand is that without you he can't be as great as we both know he can be. You bring out the best in him, you challenge and support him. His agenda isn't just his agenda, it's what you both came up with. It's what you are both so passionate about. Take you out of the equation he knows he has to do what he has to do, but you are what makes him love what he does."

"You are seriously getting soft Cy," Liv teased as Cy rolled his eyes.

"Tell me about it. I've just agreed to give James that chubby little baby he's always wanted."

"Oh my gosh that's great Cy!" Olivia exclaimed jumping from her chair and uncharacteristically threw her arms around Cyrus was a little taken aback but touched at her enthusiasm. He patted the arms that were wrapped around his shoulders.

"You're going to be an amazing father Cyrus Beene," she said softy in her ear,

"Thank you Kiddo."

Their moment was interrupted by the delivery of their lunch. Both did not realise just how hungry they were till they eating. They went through all the information they had and started cataloging what they thought might be important. Mellie's affair with Keith dated all the way back from the first year of their marriage and it made Olivia's blood boil that she could do that to Fitz. If she wanted to be with Keith why did she cling so hard unto Fitz. Was her political ambition really that big? If it was they'd have to find the right angle to get through to her. If she hadn't left Keith after almost fifteen years it meant she had big political plans for herself, which wasn't at all surprising.

"That baby?" Cyrus began waving his fork around,

"Yeah Fitz and I were thinking the same thing, but she seems so sure its Fitz's that maybe during that time they were on a break? For now there's nothing we can do about it. It's not like she'd agree to take the paternity test so easily. We'll have to wait till that little baby is born so we can grab his or her DNA." Olivia took the box full of pad thai he offered handing him the garlic and pepper chicken she had in her hand,

"What do you think her end game is?" He asked reaching for the nasi goreng

"First woman president?" Liv joked,

"Don't even kid Liv," Cy said shivering.

"Why is it that there is tofu in my food?" Cyrus questioned incredulously tossing the offending subject into the box of noodles Olivia was eating.

"I just know how much you love them." She grinned and answered sarcastically, as she watched him pick out all the tofu he could see till Olivia was holding a takeaway box overflowing with tofu. By the time they had finished lunch they had a clear plan. Huck was still digging up information to add, but what they had was substantial enough to have a sit down with Mellie. They needed to run it all past Fitz first but they were ready for battle. Olivia found that she wasn't as afraid of what Mellie had over her once she saw them. Yes, it was the wrong thing and not her proudest moments, but what they managed to capture on film were more intimate and private than scandalous. It was an exchange between two people who were obviously in love and to anyone else who was watching it, it was like invading a private moment between two people oblivious to the world. If circumstances were different it would have been a moment that any onlookers would envy. Most of the footage was Fitz looking at her longingly, from afar and nearby. Kissing the side of her head. Watching her talk to him with an adoring grin on his face. The most inappropriate photo they had was Fitz holding her face with both hands kissing her on the forehead and then on the lips. The video they managed to capture had Fitz's arms wrapped around her waist telling her he loved her, and that he couldn't let her go. That he needed her to breathe in and out. That he didn't want to imagine life where he didn't see her every day, couldn't touch her every day. It certainly was intimate but not racy. Far cry from the sex scandal Mellie threatened to expose them for.

"And if the baby is Fitz's?" Cyrus asked gently

"Then it is Cy. She is his wife and though I know he had long since stopped sleeping with her. Bottom line is he was never mine. They had a moment, yes it tears me up a lot to think they've managed to once again procreate, but I love him. For the first time I see our endgame. That we get to be together. We get to start new. If that means navigating another child, so be it. I love Gerry and Karen, if this kid is his, it's still a part of him and that alone entitles him or her to my affection. We will make it work, because for the first time, we're on the same page." Cyrus placed a hand over hers and nodded.

"Can you bring this over to him? I don't want to prematurely aggravate Mellie. Hal will be keeping an eye out for me."

"I want to fire his ass!"

"Fitz is way ahead of you. Hal's about to get reallocated." Olivia predicted.

"Good! That no good tattle tale ass hat." Olivia laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey sweetheart!"

"Hey baby. How was your day?" Liv asked as she cradled the phone on her shoulder as she moved the files on her desk looking for her planner. In the world of digital media Olivia preferred pen and paper. Harrison and Abby poked fun of her for it all the time.

"Cy just left. He went through the game plan with me."

"What do you think?" She asked,

"I think we have a shot. I'll call Mellie in the morning. I do have a suggestion though,"

"Run it,"

"I talk to Mellie alone."

"Fitz," Olivia was about to protest,

"Hear me out." He pleaded for a moment,

"Go on,"

"I appreciate that you want to stand in solidarity, and I love you all the more for it. But this battle I'm in with Mellie started long before you and I did. I want to settle this without throwing us in her face. I want to provide her with as much grace as she needs to bow out of this."

"You think she will?" She asked understanding where he was coming from.

"I hope so, otherwise this is going to get very ugly very quickly."

"Let's hope it doesn't get that far,"

"Hey Liv, you ready to go?" Olivia looked up at Abby as she entered her office and held a finger up,

"Your plan sounds right. Go for it. Listen I have to go. We have a case. Call you later?"

"We okay?" He asked a little worried. Olivia looked up at Abby,

"Hey Abs, give me a minute and I'll meet you outside?" Abby nodded and closed the door behind her,

"Sorry. Babe, were okay. I get it. My being there would only fuel her fire. I understand. Don't worry about me. We're good." Olivia said trying to reassure him.

"I just don't want you to think we're not in this together. That I don't want you there."

"Baby, chill it's fine but I really have to go. I'll call you when I get a moment."

"Okay. Take care. Love you." Olivia smiled,

"I love you too. Bye baby."

Olivia and Abby made their way to another Senator's rescue. Life as DC's fixer was never boring. Olivia couldn't help but wonder what would happen once everything had been exposed. She loved what she did, and realistically her reputation would go down the toilet as soon as Mellie paints her as the husband stealing, home wrecking slut. She had planned to tell her team that afternoon but her plans were intercepted by yet another crisis. She owed them the truth not just because she would eventually need their help, but also because whatever happened to her, would affect them whether directly or otherwise.

"You okay Liv?" Abby asked as they wrapped up for the evening. Another crisis had been averted. Abby had noticed that Olivia had been distracted for most of the evening. Abby knew that the President's shooting had taken its toll on her friend. They may not always see eye to eye, but Abby loved Olivia, after everything they had been through and all the Olivia had done for, there was never going to be a time when she wouldn't care for and or about her friend.

"Yeah, sorry Abs. I know I've been a little out of it tonight, and all over the place the last few weeks."

"It's okay Liv. We know that you were pretty close to the president and his family. It's only natural for you to be shaken up after he was shot." Olivia took a deep breath,

"I love him Abby, I've been in love with him for years." Abby gasped in surprise, though she had suspected it. She wasn't prepared for the admission.

"Wow!" Olivia had to smile, Abby was Abby and though they may get on each others nerves she loved her immensely.

"I walked away from him just before I started Pope and Associates. You could say he was the push I needed to start OPA. After he was sworn in, it was a little harder to deny that what we were doing was wrong. The stakes changed. I thought by walking away from him, I could move on, pretend that I didn't love him as much as I did. But when I saw him for the first time after almost two years when Amanda Tanner showed up, how we felt was still so infinitely strong and we just kept gravitating towards each other. After a lot of pushing away on my part, he finally let me go just before the G8 and the first time I saw him was at the hospital after he was shot and I just couldn't bring myself to pry myself away from him. I vowed that if he woke up I would stop running from him and do everything in my power to fight for us. That if he still wanted us I would make it happen."

"And I take it he still wants you." Abby guessed,

"Not at first," she answered receiving a look from Abby.

"He thought that I had moved on with Edison. Mellie told him that I was only there once the whole time he was in a coma." Abby bristled in anger, making Olivia smile. There was no questioning Abby's loyalty.

"Well, you gotta give her credit for trying. Anyway, he was so angry and hurt that I wasn't there when he woke up or thereafter not knowing that she had taken away my privileges that he pretty much told me to have a nice life, but I vowed to fight for us." Olivia continued to tell Abby the rest of the story as she listened intently.

"So you're together now?"

"The simple answer is yes, but you and I know that it's not that simple." Switching to fixer mode Abby sat up,

"So what's our game plan?"

"Thank you Abby." Olivia said sincerely,

"It's what friends are for Liv."

"You want to come to the office while I tell the others. You guys are going to have to take the lead on this one. I am officially your client." Abby looped an arm through Olivia's,

"Over a cliff Liv," she reminded her.

Telling the rest of their team was a lot easier than Olivia thought it would be. They were completely supportive and entirely loving.

"Let's reconvene in the morning. We can have a fresh start." Harrison suggested taking the lead on her case.

"Sounds like a plan. Thank you guys."

Olivia was exhausted. The last few weeks were taking their toll on her. She was tempted to go straight home but she wanted to see Fitz and she knew that he needed to see her to make sure that they were okay. Before getting ready to leave the office she dropped Tom a message asking if the coast was clear. If Hal was still there she would be forced to go home and say her goodnight over the phone. Within seconds Tom replied apologetic saying that Mellie was with the President. Olivia looked at the time and thanked him deciding to head on home. Tiredly she jumped in the shower and slipped into her pj's and barely hit the bed before she fell straight to sleep. She had only been asleep for about half an hour when her phone woke her,

"What!" She answered sleepily not looking to see who was on the other line.

"You're asleep. Sorry sweetheart."

"Oh hey, sorry I checked in earlier but coast wasn't clear." She answered with a yawn unable to keep her eyes open.

"I thought if I went home and took a shower I'd get a second wind in but my bed called."

"How was your case?"

"Easily diffused for once. How was the rest of your day?" She asked with another yawn. As much as Fitz wanted to talk to her he knew that she was over tired.

"Baby, go back to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

"You sure?" Olivia asked,

"Yeah sweetheart, it'll keep."

"Okay, night baby love you." Olivia mumbled somewhat incoherently.

"Night Livvy, love you more."

Fitz had planned to call Mellie early the next morning and had psyched himself up for that conversation so when she showed up that evening he was more than a little surprised. He had guessed that Hal had filled her in on the heavy traffic that had been going on in his hospital room. He had finally made the call to have him reassigned and he had been replaced just before Huck had left early that evening. Fitz knew that he would report everything he had to Mellie. He could have had him forceably removed but he had stood in line of bullets for him for years and Fitz didn't want him to be disgraced. His only fault was his loyalty lay not with the President but his wife.

"Evening Mel, twice in one day. To what does one owe the honour?" Fitz greeted with a smirk knowing that she was fishing. Mellie had heard through the grapevine that Ava had packed up Liv's office and taken her things to OPA. That she would remain till her replacement was found but will be working from her own office.

"You saved me the phone call. We need to talk."

"Do we? I thought we've already done that." she replied triumphantly. Glad that Olivia was finally out of their lives.

"Firstly Mel, I am sorry." caught of guard Mellie stood there silently waiting for him to go on,

"I'm sorry for what I put you through, especially with Olivia. You and I weren't in a good place and I used that as a justification for how I felt for Olivia. I never meant to be indiscreet or seemingly looking as though I was throwing it in your face. You didn't deserve that. You have to know that I didn't look for Liv, I was content with what he had, I thought that was enough. When she walked into my life it was like the curtains were drawn and light entered. I wasn't prepared for how I felt about her, the intensity, the desperate need for anyone was so foreign and I didn't think it existed in real life. I love you, I know you don't believe that, but I do. You gave me the most amazing children, and we have been partners for so many years, but I want more. As selfish as it sounds, don't we deserve more than being reduced to sniping at each other. You love Keith Mel, he wouldn't be around this long if you didn't. Don't you want to have a chance at a life with him?" Mellie dropped her gaze to the floor, she knew that he had an inkling but she didn't know to what extent.

"I still want a divorce. Even if there was no Olivia, I would still want a divorce. After almost dying I realize that as cliche as it sounds, life is short and we need to make the most of what we have. Staying in this marriage for all the wrong reasons isn't doing that Mel. It will only destroy what's left of us, and the kids deserve better than that. I know you have footage of me and Liv, and I have spoken to her about them, after all she's the one that's going to pay the highest price. If you still want to go ahead with the smear campaign, so be it. We're prepared to stand by side by side and endure what is coming, because Mel as much as you doubt it, we never meant for this to happen and as long as we're together, we're willing to stand together and admit that what we did was wrong and that we are willing to take the consequences of our actions. We want to start us right. Liv was never a dirty little secret Mel. I love her and I've shortchanged her, just as I have you and it stops now. So if what you want is a messy divorce, we can still have one. I just don't want to drag the kids into that. You can do what you want with me, but I am asking you to leave our kids out of it. Leave Liv out of it. Your anger is at me, I failed you. They shouldn't have to be the road kill for my mistake."

"You love her that much?"

"I really do Mel, and I really am sorry for how much that hurts you."

"Chances are you are having this conversation with me because you have something equally damaging to my reputation."

"Mel, Cyrus alone is like a pit bull when it comes to my presidency." Mel nodded somewhat defeatedly, knowing that with Olivia's connections she would already know what she was holding over them.

"I want to do this with as little fall out as possible, you have my word Mel that I would never throw you in front of a bus."

"I appreciate that, and seeing as we're throwing apologies around. I'm sorry too. For everything."

Olivia woke up at five in the morning, she found a text from Tom confirming that the coast was clear. She took a long hot shower and put her sweats on. Fitz woke to Olivia climbing into his bed to lay beside him.

"Hey Baby," he greeted happy to see her,his arms automatically wrapped around her.

"Sorry I never made it back." she apologized dropping a quick kiss to his lips before laying her head on his chest.

"It's okay. You sounded like you needed the sleep. You feeling better?"

"I still feel completely exhausted, but I made a dent actually getting 6 consecutive hours of sleep in last night."

"That's what happens when you take care of your comatose boyfriend for weeks on end non stop without taking any time for yourself." he said disapprovingly

"It was all worth it having you here now." she said tightening the arm that she had draped across his middle.

"So Mellie came last night,"

"How'd that go?" Olivia asked looking up at him. Fitz kissed the top of her nose before he began filling here in.

"Wow," she said releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. Grateful that Mellie had decided not to go to war with them. It was going to be hard enough to deal with American people without having to battle each other too.

"So how did you want to do this?" Olivia asked. They had been so busy with their counter attack that they hadn't discussed how they were going to approach his divorce and the reveal of their relationship.

"I divorce Mellie and you and I get married." he answered simply as Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I don't remember being proposed to for one. Secondly, I meant how did you want to handle the press." Fitz grinned,

"Oh don't you worry, there's will be a proposal. You just better be ready to answer when I do."

"Until then Fitzgerald, what are your plans? How do you want to do this?"

"One of these days you're going to hav to take your fixer hat off and and just be Liv,"

"Liv is the fixer and the fixer is Liv. Now answer the question," she said jabbing him playfully on the side.

"We make an announcement that Mellie and I have filed for a divorce. that though we will always care about each other, we realize that we are no longer happy together, that we care about each other enough to let each other go than stay in a marriage and be miserable. That we dont want to put our children through that," Olivia was trying to gauge how he wanted to handle them, and Fitz could see the question that lay unasked.

"After we announce the divorce. I want to start dating you like a normal person. No more hiding. No more closed doors, oval offices and empty restaurants. I'm going to do this right. Like you have always deserved."

"Fitz are you sure? The American people,"

"Will think what they like, and will make their judgements regardless. I'd rather be upfront and answer their questions held on than have it leak that you and I are sneaking around."

"Okay,"

"So we're in this together?" he asked lifting her chin so that he could look at her in the eye.

"We're in this together." she replied shuffling closer to him as he hugged her tighter burying his face into her hair savouring the moment that she had finally given in and was now his. Finally they could imagine a future together, one that was not dictated by his presidency.

Thank you all so much for reading and for your amazing reviews. It certainly spurred me on to write the chapters quicker than normal. Sorry this last chapter took so long. Hope you enjoyed this story.


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